Virginity

Virginity is typically the most important for women to keep and for men to get rid of. Men are praised for losing their virginity young, and women are supposed to stay “pure” until a socially acceptable moment (old enough, besides a legal sense, in a committed relationship where one is “in love” and for the sole purpose of pledging your love and devotion to one’s partner). Women are labeled as easy, desperate, or damaged if they lose it any way other than that socially acceptable moment. In some cultures, women who aren’t virgins when they marry can be exiled or even killed, particularly for shaming their families. Virginity is a sign of purity. And not being pure when you marry in many societies brings shame and dishonor to your family, even if you were raped.

While boys are taught that the things that make them men – Good men – are universally accepted ethical ideals, women are led to believe that our moral compass lies somewhere between our legs. Literally. And this ties into what is known as the sexual double standard: Women are shamed for having sex and men are rewarded for it.

Why is it sexist ? – Women are taught that their virginity is valuable, even a commodity. If they “lose” it the wrong way – that is, with the wrong person or at the wrong time – then we label them as easy or even call them “damaged” or “desperate.”Meanwhile, men don’t have to worry about being judged or shamed for “losing” their virginity

Living as a woman, losing your virginity at the wrong age (usually being “too young” in this case), at the wrong time (“too early” on in a relationship, or not during one at all), with the wrong person (usually someone you aren’t “in love” with) or with the wrong feelings (doing it for any other reason than loving your partner and wanting to pledge your love and devotion) has social consequences.

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