Yesterday I decided to create a questionnaire to get some feedback from other people on gender issues since it was anonymous a lot of you participated. (902 answered)
Following, I will show you graphs on each question.
First question; Females joined this questionnaire more, which is not wrong at all because I was focused more on them. 5,8% males joined this questionnaire.
Second question; The reason why I asked this was because when it comes to Albanian girls living in diaspora they seem to be more oppressed, especially because of the fact that they don’t live in the albanian community and they get used to European mentality.
Third question; There you can see the percentage of those who participated and their experience with harassment. I was actually shocked that 29,7% (without 5,8% participated men) of women was never harassed. But then I came to the realization that many women out there don’t really take catcalling as harassment which is wrong, but it’s not their fault either, they’ve been told that catcalling isn’t a threat. If you’re one of these women I recommend reading this article.
Fourth question; Then I asked you, in the case of being harassed if you stand up for yourself. I wish the red part filled the whole circle. Our community makes it sometimes hard to speak up in the case of being harassed, they often tend to judge the victim rather than the harasser. With that being said, please never feel guilty of yourself, neither the way you dress. It has nothing to do with harassment.
Fifth question; A more serious question was this one. I’m happy that 70,3% of participants haven’t been sexually harassed and hopefully will never be. But then there’s the other side, the one that was in this situation. Shocking will be the next graph.
Sixth question; Why shocking? you maybe wondered. Only 18,3% of participants who has been sexually harassed spoke about what happened to them. And this is where it is wrong in all the ways. And the answer to why so many don’t talk about it is that the person being harassed may fear retaliation, feel like it’s their fault, feel like nothing can be done to stop the harassment, hope the harassment will go away by ignoring it or think if they change their behavior the harassment will stop by itself. If you or someone you know has been sexually harassed, talk to your school administrators or contact the police, domestic violence/sexual assault crisis center nearest you. The best is, of course, to have family support and with them find the harasser and right away call the police. Depends on where you live, the harasser will go to jail for a year, two, three and more.
Seventh question; This question has varieties of answers. But there are still – in most cases – girls being discriminated by their own family. To explain the green part of the graph, that was only in the case of males answering to this question. (*Ostatní = other). My point is anyways that girls are being often told to stay home. We girls have been brought up with that mentality that women must be protected from men at all cost; explain to little girls how to defend themselves, explain to them how to be strong and what sexual harassment and rape are, and how not to be a victim by staying home. Let’s raise our children the same way.
Eighth question; In this question, I just needed another proof of continuing discrimination in families.
Ninth question; Girls are often oppressed to stay single until they find the ONE and get engaged/married with that person only. Makes no sense right? It has to do with Albanian mentality, I believe though that next generation isn’t going to have this old fashioned mentality. (*Ostatní= other)
Tenth question; The connecting question to last one. Virginity is typically the most important for women to keep and for men to get rid of. Men are praised for losing their virginity young, and women are supposed to stay “pure” until a socially acceptable moment (old enough, besides a legal sense, in a committed relationship where one is “in love” and for the sole purpose of pledging your love and devotion to one’s partner). Living as a woman, losing your virginity at the wrong age (usually being “too young” in this case),at the wrong time (“too early” on in a relationship, or not during one at all), with the wrong person (usually someone you aren’t “in love” with) or with the wrong feelings (doing it for any other reason than loving your partner and wanting to pledge your love and devotion) has social consequences and I hope it will stop being seen in that way. Stop telling women that our moral compass lies somewhere between our legs.
Eleventh question; To be honest that 33,9% of participants made me feel uncomfortable. Personally, I find this very sexist. If the person isn’t a virgin and expects you to be one…No thank you. This struggle is mainly faced by Albanian girls rather than boys. To explain it further, boys, as I said in the previous answer, are praised for losing “it”, they don’t have to worry about being judged or shamed for “losing” their virginity and when it comes to finding that one woman they want to marry, they expect her to be a virgin obviously.
Twelveth question; When people think of domestic abuse, they often focus on domestic violence. But domestic abuse occurs whenever one person in an intimate relationship or marriage tries to dominate and control the other person. 1 in 2 women experience some form of violence. If you have been or you are in this situation read my article it might help you!
English version click here.
Albanian version click here.
And the last question was just a feedback of my work online; I am happy that most of you like my work I do. When it comes to yellow part I read your individual answers and some said, they don’t get how it’s going to help the situation. I share stories of young women that witnessed any kind of discrimination based on sex. By sharing your story you’re showing the world that sexism does exist – and at the same time you are empowering and supporting other women who have been through the exact situation and never found the courage to talk about it. And I think it’s a great step to achieve gender equality! This is only the beginning of my project. Bigger things coming soon! ♥