“My name is Shpresa”

My Name is Shpresa I am 38 years old and a mother of 3 wonderful sons. Other than that, it is hard for me to say who I am or what I like because I do not know. I grew up in a small village somewhere in Kosovo and went to school until 9th grade. After school, I stayed at home and helped my mother and the other women in my family to create a perfect household. And I waited to get married. Thinking back on ending school so early and all the opportunities I missed deeply saddens me.

Anyway, please allow me to tell you about my daily life…

I wake up at 6 a.m. and make breakfast for my family. I bake fresh bread every single day. When breakfast is ready I wake up my children and help them to get ready for school. While dressing them I think of all the wishes I got for giving birth to three boys and of the fact that I do not have a daughter. I would have loved to have one but knowing that she might have had the same fate as me I am glad to have three sons. There comes my husband expecting a warm meal and ready to complain about everything I supposedly did wrong.

Before my children come home from school and after my husband leaves for work there is a time, where I get to be by myself. Going out on my own is inconceivable so during that time, I like to secretly read my sons school books so I can help them if they have questions. But admittedly I have some difficulties when it comes to the homework of my oldest.

After my kids come home from school and eat lunch I ask them to do their homework sadly none of them really listens to me. Sometimes it feels like they lost their respect for me. But then again when my husband yells at them they finally start doing their homework.

My day continues as I clean up everything and think of what I should cook for dinner and it ends as I wash the dishes and make everyone’s bed. I do not have to plan the next day in my head as I lie on my bed because it is the same as today and the same as yesterday.

So that was my day. Thank you for spending it with me.
I would have loved to tell you about a more interesting everyday life, where I tell you about raising my sons with confidence and how my husband and I are a wonderful team. Or how good it feels to be able to earn your own money and spending some time doing the things I like.

But unfortunately, my name is Shpresa I am 38 years old, a mother to 3 wonderful sons and other than that, it is hard for me to say who I am or what I like because I do not know.



prepared: Dardane Bajrami

8 thoughts on ““My name is Shpresa”

  1. amazing. wehave to change things. i’m so worryied for you, Shpresa. It is disgusting. Try to have time for yourself in this toxic environment the most you can

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It makes me sick 🤑when I think how people treat woman like they are there property and they can do what ever they want with them 😡…. Children disrespect mothers because they learn from ther fathers……

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I feel so bad for her, my life was the same I was 17 married to a 32 year old . Anyway I had 4 children 2boys 2 girls . My ex’s family was old school he beat me everyday and did what ever he wanted , divorce was never an option until one day about 6 year’s ago when I left , now I can finally breath and actually live . Shpresa my heart breaks for you because I know how you feel. And I haven’t seen my children since I left . May God bless you and give you strength. If you need anything please let me know. Sasha Dukaj

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I think you are a fantastic mum being able to raise three sons, and what I love the most is that you actually try very hard for your family, not many mums cook fresh bread and make an effort to help their sons with homework unless they have too. Marriges are hard work for everybody. Keep up and I am glad that you wrote it actually made me feel not so alone. I’m a single mum to a son!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Shpresa, my name is Anita and we are the same age and I’m from Kosove as well.
    I feel so sad and angry at how women are still treated especially Albanian women. I’m Albanian and I have a 3 years old child but I refused to marry and live a life in which my only identity is my husband and children and live like a slave. I just don’t care anymore of what people think and say about me, I like my life now and I have the most wonderful daughter and a great job and that’s all that matters. It’s not to late for you to change your life. Take a class, get a job anything that is yours is worth it. You are a good mother, wife, sister, daughter but now it’s time for you to be good for and to yourself. don’t wait life is so short my sister.


  5. I’m not from kosovo, I’m not a mother, I am Albanian and was raised with a stricked family, I’m 30 yrs old and a very positive person. Shpresa reading your story it reminded me so much of what I’ve seen growing up. I was the odd child in the family and still am because I had the strength and faith in God who has created me to make different choices. Most of the response I’ve read to your story have been (oh my heart is broken or i can relate or I’m in the same place) which isn’t helping but proving that most Albanian men can’t take care of their family. There should be seminars or mens meetings on how to be better to their family. How to be a great example to their kids, and not hurting their family emotionally, physically or verbally. By the way sometimes it’s not always 50/50 because one of those days u might feel like not giving your all. Try communicating and expressing your feelings with your husband. Life isn’t fair or perfect. Life if what you make it.
    With respect.


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